BarbaWire, Feb. 9

Asteroid, Please Miss Us
So, now you are telling me that if we live long enough to get way too drunk on New Year’s Eve next year, an asteroid might come smash into us in 2036? Santo Dios. Ok, not really, but this still is going to keep me up tonight. More.

Here Is Your Second Chance (Don't Mess It Up)
Despite flubbing the National Anthem, Christina Aguilera is set to perform as part of tribute to Aretha Franklin this Sunday at the Grammys. Man, America might forgive you, Christina, for jumbling the words to the “Star-Spangled Banner,” but something about Aretha tells me she wouldn’t play that. More.
Do us all a favor, Xtina, and take the sharpie you typically reserve for your eyebrows and write the following on your hand “R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.” Thanks.

Gabby Wants Toast
Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords’ condition has improved so much so that she asked for toast for breakfast this morning. The doctors have said Giffords (D-Ariz.) has made tremendous strides in her recovery since being shot in the head in early January. She is now at a rehab center in Houston and is expected to be onsite when her husband boards the last space shuttle mission in April. More.
Although I am impressed by her strides, I am disappointed in her breakfast options. Toast? Really? I would have at least ordered some French toast. Oh! Maybe some chocolate waffles with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. That always sounds so good on the menu and I ordered it once – insisted, even – at a diner in Las Vegas when I was about 11. It was a bit too rich for me and I had maybe two bites. I may or may not have been smacked. It’s hard to recall. (I’m pretty sure I at least got an ear tug.)

RIP, Tapes
The cassette tape player in your car is dead. That’s not exactly news, but this story still made me incredibly wistful for the days when I had my first car, a 1990 Mazda Protégé. I had a tape player and my soundtrack that summer was the “Can’t Hardly Wait” album. I think. Oh, and DMX’s “It's Dark and Hell Is Hot.” It was a simpler time. More.

Craigslist's Congressman
Today Gawker.com posted a story about Congressman Christopher Lee (R-New York) sending a shirtless picture of himself to a woman he contacted from Craigslist’s “women seeking men” section. One problem: Lee is married. He lied about his age, his job and his marital status. The woman ran a simple Google search and realized the true identity of her gentleman caller and naturally contacted Gawker. Within three hours of the snarky site posting its story, the Congressman resigned. Did he mess up? Sure, but a resignation is a bit precipitous, unless there is a lot more going on behind the scenes. He didn’t get a page all liquored up and try to take advantage of him. He didn’t tap his foot under an airport bathroom stall. To be bipartisan, he certainly didn’t get caught up in a bridge accident that left a woman dead. Or even hook up with an intern in the Oval Office. Dude should have just chilled. More.