BarbaWire, Feb. 28

Spartacus Saves the Oscars

Kirk Douglas was the absolute highlight of a kind of flat Academy Awards show. The 94-year-old genuinely made me laugh and should give Betty White a run for her money.
I was pretty happy with the winners. Natalie Portman deserved her best actress award for making me feel uncomfortable while watching her on let the sound of her own wheels drive her crazy for two hours. "The King’s Speech" was a remarkably good movie, so I am glad that it won best picture and that Colin Firth won best actor. I am glad I missed the Gwenyth Paltrow singing and the whole auto-tune bit. I changed the channel for the boring stuff and anything that has the potential to make me wanna gouge my eyes.
Check out Kirk Douglas here if you missed him here.

A Hero

Frank Buckles, the last remaining U.S. veteran from World War I, died Monday in West Virginia. He was 110. The war, then known as the Great War, was fought from 1914 to 1918. Buckles enlisted at 16 and served in England and France. We salute you, sir. More.

Libya Update
The Libyans love Colonel Moammar Gadhafi, says Gadhafi in an interview with Christiane Amanpour.They love him. And he is not killing them. The only protestors are Al Qaeda, OK? And he is never leaving Libya. Why would he?

In all seriousness, this guy is a special kind of crazy. He is so crazy, that, well, he is now drawing comparisons to Charlie Sheen. I don’t mean to trivialize the plight of the Libyan people by comparing their oppressor to a washed-up, self-indulged actor that has convinced himself that he is some sort of superior being. In fact, I am saying that Gadhafi and Sheen’s indistinguishable rants are strong indicators that this man gots to go.

Farrakhan, No. Just No.
Speaking of crazy, Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan said on Sunday that he is a ride-or-die friend to Gadhafi and is not going to let some crimes against humanity stand in the way. Having said that, he thinks revolutions are about to happen all over the world, including in the U.S.
His other nuggets during his Sunday speech at a suburban Chicago event included saying that he digs Scientology because it was intended “civilize white people” and he thinks Rihanna is filthy and that people who like her are swine. Rihanna – who cracks me up on twitter mocked the remarks about her on Monday. More.

Farrakhan’s remarks on “civilized” people reminded me of being five years old and hearing an old man make a comment about the black people in Denver being “more civilized” than elsewhere. I don’t remember him actually saying that, I only remember my mom blowing up.

@MayorEmanuel Revealed
All this time I was waiting for @MayorEmanuel to emerge as someone from Rahm Emanuel’s campaign team or some sort of insider. Nope, it journalism professor Dan Sinker. When I was imagining the man behind the tweets, I pictured a Michael J. Fox-type from “Spin City,” not a Chicago punk/hipster. Still, the dude had an uncanny way of dropping f-bombs. Journalists are so multi-talented.

The Atlantic has a cool story about Sinker getting super paranoid on the train that some nosey lookie lou would read over his shoulder and blow his cover. More. Be sure to check out the slideshow, it has some highlights.

WeekendWire, Feb. 26

Libya Update
If it wasn’t bad enough in Libya, Colonel Moammar Gadhafi’s forces have now turned ambulances into Trojan horses. That’s right, the wounded in Tripoli that think they are about to be picked up and treated are being shot instead.
It is all smoke and mirrors with Gadhafi, though. Wounded protestors have been removed from hospitals and there are reports of dead body burnings on the beaches.
Hundreds are dead and possibly thousands are expected to be killed.
Tripoli was cleaned on Thursday, with defaced Gadhafi billboards fixed, in preparation of a visit from foreign journalists. Also, state television aired another speech of Gadhafi, this time in the city’s Green Square. He appeared to be addressing thousands of loyalists, but the New York Times points out that there is no way to know if the broadcast was live or pre-recorded. This time he said, “Life without dignity is useless,” urged them to fight to the death and added that “Libya will become hell.” Yeah, because it is so heavenly now. More

Shutdown Avoided for Now
The federal government has avoided a shutdown until at least March 18. On Friday, Democrats accepted a Republican plan that calls for the Democrats to agree to $4 billion from the budget. In total, the Republicans are seeking $60 billion in cuts, but this will hold them over. More.

Ick. Nast.
A London ice cream shop has a new flavor – Baby Gaga, which is made from the breast milk of humans. While I am suppressing my dry heaves over here, not only is the ice cream sold out, people paid $22.50 a serving for it. I have no problem with donor milk for babies – cut to Salma Hayek -- but grown-ups need to be grown-ups and stick to going to the fro-yo place that has Cinnamon Toast Crunch as a topping. More.

Yikes
Georgia Congressman Paul Broun got an interesting question at a town hall meeting this week from a member of the audience: Who is going to shoot Obama?
The Republican didn’t really respond, instead he said that he understands the frustration with the president. He later issued a statement where he said he didn’t want to dignify the question with a response, alerted the appropriate authorities after the event and condemned that sort of rhetoric. More.
While I don’t find his immediate actions offensive, he could have addressed it a la Senator John McCain and got super sassy like Congressman Barney Frank. Oh no you di-int!!

The Power of the Tweet
A New York homeless man was reunited with his daughter after an 11-year absence with the help of Twitter.
Daniel Morales is participating in a program called “Underheard in New York,” which gave him a prepaid cell phone and set him up with a Twitter account. He put fillers out on the interwebs in hopes of tracking down his 27-year-old daughter, Sarah Rivera, who moved to Puerto Rico in 2000. The two were reunited on Friday. More.
Wow, Morales tracks his daughter via Twitter, while my dad calls me to walk him through syncing his iPod.

Kinky, Congressman. Kinky.
Remember when I said there had to be more to the story of the Congressman Chris Lee’s quick resignation after appearing to send just one picture of his married, shirtless torso to a woman on Craigslist? Apparently, there is. Tranny.

Booting the Boot
That’s right, Jessica Davey, you stick it to the man.

BarbaWire, Feb. 24

Final Discovery

The Space Shuttle Discovery embarked on its final mission on Thursday, marking the beginning of the end of NASA’s shuttle program. There are two remaining Space Shuttle launches scheduled for later this year, but Discovery is considered the flagship of the shuttle program, launching 39 times as it delivered supplies and satellites to outer space.
On board the shuttle this go-round is a robot that looks a human from the waist up. The humanoid will be working on doing simple tasks like turning knobs in a zero-gravity atmosphere. Pretty cool until we figure out that the humanoid thrives in outer space and very quickly evolves from a robot to a maniac set on galactic domination. More.
These pictures really make me miss Florida on this cold, dreary day. Cape Canaveral was 100 miles away from where I lived and I could still see shuttle launches. Today I couldn’t see the top of the Sears Tower, which is three blocks away.

Reunited Wallet
Now that I’ve depressed you with the reminder that Punxsutawney Phil is a lying, heartless fatty, I bring you a story to warm your frostbitten heart. In 1970, Rudolph Resta’s wallet was stolen from his jacket pocket. Fast forward 40 years, when security guard Jose Cisneros found the wallet and through a series of events, the wallet made its way back to Resta. His cash was gone, but in the wallet Resta found a saucy photo of his wife in a jaguar stole – this dude was an art director in the promotions department at the NYT. How much was he making?? – and pictures of his then young sons. There was also a photo of his Italian immigrant father and a copy of Senator Ted Kennedy’s eulogy for his brother, Senator Robert F. Kennedy. This is the kind of story that reminds you the world is filled with good people. More.

Our Future Is Screwed
Providence, R.I. has to cut costs, so it is firing all of its teachers. Okay, not really, but kinda. Faced with a $40 million budget deficit, the city knows it will have to close some schools, much like Detroit which announced it plans to close as many half of its schools. Since Providence doesn’t know how many schools it will have to shutter, it is sending dismissal notices to all 1,926 of its teachers because a state law requires them to notify teachers about layoffs by March 1. Not all of those teachers will be fired, but some of them will. I know in this economy you have to cut corners where you can, but the idea of cutting teachers not only depresses me but also makes me worry about our future ability to compete. More.

Skin in San Francisco
“Intactivist” Lloyd Schofield is trying to ban get a circumcision ban put on the November ballot in San Francisco, so naturally he took his cause to Fox News, the champion of all hippie causes. He and Megyn Kelly go back and forth over the importance of foreskin. (Shouldn’t Schofield exclusively wear turtlenecks to promote his cause?) My favorite part is when he talks about the bris-shalom, basically a Jewish ceremony that ceremonially celebrates the snip without actually snipping. More
My mom and I got into the funniest debate about the circumcision of her theoretical grandson once. I told her that I had mixed feelings about it and she was incensed by that. We went back and forth over culture and cleanliness. Her final argument was “Well, Jesus was!!!” No arguing with that.


Gas Prices
With all the uprisings in the Middle East, it was only a matter of time before it showed up at the pumps and only a matter of time before eager editors assigned gas price stories to grumpy reporters. Every story is going to have the same basic details. First, it will talk about the fact that prices are up, then it will transition to the fact that prices are going up even more because there is a time lag between crude oil future sales and the unleaded arriving to the pump. Then it will talk about the regional reasons, such as specific taxes and distribution channels. It might even talk about gasbuddy.com and how raising prices actually hurt the gas stations. More.
If you can’t already tell, gas stories were the bane of my existence at my old paper. I remember getting into a shouting match with our metro editor when I refused to approach the story from the premise of gas going to $5 a gallon. He told me story wasn’t “poppin’” I wanted to pop him in the jaw.


A Hangover Cure, Please?
A teaser trailer for "The Hangover 2" hit the internet on Thursday. It looks awful. Yes, I will still see it. Whatever.

BarbaWire, Feb. 23

Big Ups to Billups

While Denver is saying good riddance to Carmelo Anthony, the loss of Chauncey Billups appears to be stinging the Mile High City, with the most acute pain being felt by Billups himself. On Wednesday, my fellow George Washington alum Billups called Denver Post reporter Benjamin Hochman from New York to discuss the trade. Billups said that telling his daughters and wife that he was headed to New York immediately was “the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.” That might be a bit dramatic, but Billups redeems himself by side-eyeing the Nuggets’ apology for trading him. “(The apology) is a great gesture. But at some point during this process, they made a decision. But I don’t take it personally,” he said. Good work, Chauncey. Mrs. Yancey would be proud.

Busted!
Tiffany Nealous was involved in a 60-car pile-up on Sunday, but on Tuesday she turned a Michigan repair shop into a train wreck. The 34-year-old woman went to pick up her car at a repair shop. When she found out the bill was for $225, she flipped the eff out and went on a rampage, chucking anything she could grab at the employee who couldn’t muster anything more than “knock it off.” It just so happened that a TV reporter and photographer were in the shop doing a follow on the pile-up when Nealous’ crazy train rolled in and caught the whole thing on video. On Wednesday, Nealous was charged with assault with a dangerous weapon, malicious destruction of property, assault and battery, and interfering with electronic communications. More.
The video is worth watching, if not totally disturbing because Nealous’ son is trying to get his mom to stop and is eventually driven to tears by his mother’s wrath. Still, my favorite part is when she takes a break from the breaking and attacking to call 911 on the shop owner for his outrageous price.

Defense of Marriage Dead?
The Obama administration announced that it would no longer defend the Defense of Marriage Act, the law passed in 1996 that prevents the federal government from acknowledging same-sex marriages. I believe an example would be a gay couple that has a civil union recognized by its state cannot file its income taxes as a married couple.
On Wednesday, Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. told Congress in a letter that the White house has declared the act unconstitutional. Congress can still appoint lawyers to defend the law, but the White House has set down that bag of bricks while it focuses its attention on stuff that matters. I am not sure what the net result of this will be – it doesn’t force states to make same-sex marriage legal, but LGBT activists have heralded it as a major victory in their fight for equality. More.

Cell Phones Turn Your Brain Into Mush

A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that cell phone usage affects the brain, but the study is not sure in what capacity. It says that cell phone usage – particularly in the region closest to the antenna – leads to a temporary increase the metabolism of brain cells. However, the study is unsure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. In other words, they don’t know if it causes cancer yet. The results were startling enough that the study’s lead scientist says she is only using the wire-connected headsets or the speakerphone. She is suggesting you do the same, particularly if you are a kid. More.

Great, the last thing I need is another obnoxious teenager talking on speaker on the bus. I wonder what kind of damage would be caused by me chucking my gym shoe at one of them?

BarbaWire, Feb. 22

The Moon Shines
The camera on the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter is pretty damn cool. This image is one of the most detailed photos of the moon ever produced and is actually one of the largest picture files ever. It is actually a composite of 1,300 photos. More.
While space in general freaks me out, the moon does not. Call me emo, but I love how moody it appears. I totally geeked out to the documentary “In the Shadow of the Moon," particularly when Michael Collins talks about orbiting the moon solo. That was pure gold.
Speaking of composites of photos, there are some incredible scenes on earth, too. Check out Swiss artist Corinne Vionnet’s series “Photo Opportunities” where she overlays hundreds of photos of popular tourist destinations. I am particularly fond of the Court of the Lions from the Alhambra.

Libya Update
Colonel Moammar Gadhafi (it is spelled so many ways, I can’t keep up) released a 75-minute rant today where said he would never leave Libya, he was not surrendering his country to “crazy people” and that he would die a martyr. Oh, he also took it to some biblical proportions when he threatened protesters that he would "cleanse Libya house by house."
He also praised his No. 2, interior minister Abdel Fattah Younes Obeidi, as a hero. Funny thing: Obeidi joined the opposition today. More.

Domino's to the Rescue
A Tennessee senior citizen’s devotion to mediocre pizza may have saved her life. Jean Wilson, 82, has ordered a large pepperoni pizza from Domino’s every day for the last three years, until Saturday when she fell and couldn’t get up or reach a telephone. On Monday, Susan Guy, her trusty delivery gal, got word that Wilson hadn’t ordered her ordered her daily pie in three days. Despite her manager's lack of urgency, Guy rushed to the scene and eventually called 911 where responders found Wilson. The little old lady is recovering and Guy is being heralded as a hero. Domino’s is even sending her on a trip. I wonder what happens to her boss that said “Naw, you don’t have to do that.” More.
While this story is sweet, I hate it when I become a regular at a fast food joint. I ate a lot of Wendy’s in college and always asked for chile sauce – for the fries. It is really freaking good. Don't judge me. – at the window. Well, one day I was about to ask for the sauce when the lady says “it’s already in the bag.” After shame eating that delicious grease I went on Atkins for two weeks. (Then I resumed my fast food devotion. Now the folks at Potbelly know how I like my turkey sandwich. I switch it up just to throw them off the scent, though.)

Reign of Rahm Has Begun
Rahm Emanuel is now the mayor elect of Chicago. Since leaving his post as the Chief of Staff in the Obama administration, Emanuel was always been the frontrunner, so this is not all that surprising. More.
I wonder what is going to happen to the MayorEmanuel twitter feed. The prankster has been hinting lately that it is set to end, but the tweet tonight at Michelle Malkin made my effing night.
I am glad the mayoral election is over, though. I was so annoyed with the ad campaigns of runner-up Gerry Chico that bashed Emanuel's suburban upbringing. While I am a staunchly proud of growing up in a city, I don’t like the idea of smearing a guy based on where his parents chose to live. Not to get philosophical, but life is a crapshoot – we all could have just as easily ended up in a Sally Struthers’ commercial.

Watch Wisconsin
The mess in Wisconsin continues to brew. On Tuesday, Gov. Scott Walker said state workers would face “dire consequences” if lawmakers fail to pass a bill that would strip labor unions of their bargaining rights. More.
So, Jon Stewart had some really funny and really interesting commentary on the Wisconsin debacle. Watch that here.
Rachel Maddow actually had more insightful commentary on the cheese state, however, every time I watch a Maddow rant I think about that scene at the end of The Goonies where Stef tells Mouth, “Your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn't screwing it up.” I like Maddow and I think she has really interesting things to say, but her delivery can sometimes clog the message. You should still watch it. If you are one of those anti-MSNBC types, perhaps find a transcript?

BarbaWire, Feb. 21

New Yorke Freaks Out
Radiohead released its latest album “The King of Limbs” on Friday. From what I hear, the album is pretty solid. I haven’t listened yet. It didn’t fit into my weekend of doing nothing and eating. The runaway hit, however, of the release is lead singer Thom Yorke’s wicked dance moves for the song “Lotus Flower.”
Thom Yorke – he is totally one of the guys you first and last name always -- shakes and jerks and moves as if he may have been bit by a rabid dog. He totally reminds me of that one hippie lady at every street fest who stands in front of the stage and dances as if she is totally connecting with the soul band. You know her.
I like the song, but I love the mashups. The LA Times has a bunch of the mashups. I am torn between Thom Yorke as a Single Lady and Thom Yorke whipping his hair.

Hiding in Illinois

Democrat lawmakers from Wisconsin are on the lam in the Land of Lincoln. The 14 state senators skipped town and headed to Illinois on Thursday to block the passage of the governor’s controversial budget, which calls for government workers to contribute more to their health care and limits their union powers in an attempt to cut costs.
The Wall Street Journal has a fun read about the escape and the Chicago Tribune has a cool story – if not a bit saccharine – about their four days of “roughing it.”

Libya Update
The political situation in Libya deteriorated further over the weekend, with scores of protesters shot, soldiers murdered for refusing to fire on protesters and even two air force colonels flew to Malta to seek refuge. At one point, there were rumors that Muammar Gaddafi had fled to Venezuela, but on Monday he appeared on state television. Everyone is calling for his resignation. Or for his assassination. More.

Au Revoir, Anthony

Carmelo’s trade is finally done. He is now New York’s problem. Sadly, the deal also calls for Chauncey Billups to leave his hometown. The Nuggets get a handful of young players, the Knicks 2014 first-round draft pick, the Warriors' 2012 second-round pick, the Warriors' 2013 second-round pick and $3 million in cash. More.

WeekendWire, Feb. 18

Planned Parenthood Funding
The House voted on Friday to end $330 million of funding for Planned Parenthood, money that the controversial health care provider uses to provide contraception and cancer screenings. Planned Parenthood is prevented by law to use its funding for abortions. More
When people think about Planned Parenthood, they think abortion, which is legal. According to its website, abortions make up about 3% of its total services. The vast majority of its work goes toward pregnancy prevention, cancer screenings and sexually transmitted infection testing.
The amendment was introduced by Indiana Republican Mike Pence and was passed despite an incredibly moving speech by California Democrat Jackie Speier, where she detailed an abortion she had because of a complication in a pregnancy. Head over to HuffPo to read a follow-up with the Congresswoman.

Middle East Uprisings Turn Violent
As expected, protests have spread across the Middle East. However, the protesters in places like Bahrain and Libya are not facing the relative restraint that the Egyptian military showed.
On Thursday, security forces fired on protesters and mourners in Bahrain, killing at least five people and injuring more than 230. In Libya, the leader’s regime, using snipers and helicopters, have killed nearly 20 protesters. More.

Giffords Update
Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords continues to progress from her gunshot wound to the head, but her chief of staff said in an interview this week that the Arizona Democrat has not been told about the breadth of the attack. Giffords is able to carry on simple conversations, but her aide said the doctors believe it is unfair to tell her the gruesome details of the shooting because of her limited cognitive ability right now. More.

Tekka Maki, Hold the Tekka
David Martin wanted fish, no filler. He headed to A Ca-Shi, an all-you-can-eat buffet in Studio City, Calif., where he slurped up the raw fish but threw shade to the rice. When he went for seconds, the owner told him he had to eat the rice before he could get seconds. Martin said he couldn’t eat rice because he has diabetes. Now he is suing the restaurant for $4,000 in damages – clearly his first litigious rodeo – for the restaurant’s discriminatory policies that caused him "humiliation, embarrassment and mental anguish." More.
I wonder if all the Latinos I know that have mistaken wasabi for guacamole can sue Japanese buffets on the same grounds.

The Carmelodrama Continues
Now the deal to trade Carmelo Anthony to the New Jersey Nets might be back on. The New York Knicks deal also might be on. The trade will also likely include Denver son Chauncey Billups. I don’t like that. Anthony said today he's hopeful his situation gets worked out soon. Right.

Cheap Cat Carries Lots of Drugs
Federal agents seized more than $9 million worth of pure opium that was hidden in acrylic cats last month. You’d think with that much dope, the smugglers would have chosen a more classy vessel. For instance, my aunts always tell this story about their Middle Eastern foreign exchange student boyfriends during their disco days. As the story goes, the guys used to store cocaine in a porcelain duck. That’s class. More.

BarbaWire, Feb. 17

But Will It Melt the Rest of the Snow?

Solar flares are coming! This means one of two things. Either we are going to get burned up or this is the sun’s final burp and we are going to freeze. I hate my high school physics teacher for just casually saying that one day the earth will end because the sun is a star and all stars die out. Anyway, apparently this bout of solar flares isn’t the big one. It is just going to mess up your GPS – is this why bus tracker has been so wonky? – and make for pretty northern lights. More.

Union Uprising
Republican lawmakers in Wisconsin are trying to cut government labor unions’ rights and power in an attempt to trim millions of dollars off of its stressed budget. The unions are not pleased and thousands are protesting. Similar fights are expected in several other states that are also trying to cut costs by calling government workers to contribute more to their pension funds and health care. More.

Don't Be Scared
Guillermo Del Toro – the same guy that wrote and directed Pan’s Labyrinth – is set to direct a 3-D animated movie based on Pinocchio. The Disney original movie already freaked me out enough as a kid. I would fast-forward during the scene with that scary Stromboli, who was totally a pedo, right? While I loved Pan’s, this is going to give me nightmares. It could be fantastic, but it is still going to give me nightmares. More.

Shrivering in His Singlet
A really good home-schooled wrestler from Iowa has defaulted in a match against a girl because he says his religion prohibits him from touching girls in a “familiar way.” The nice guy in me wants to applaud him for staying true to his beliefs. The other side of me, however, thinks he is just scared. He is either afraid of girls, afraid he will get, uh, familiar, or she will beat him. More.

Rockin' the Swerve in St. Lucie
Detroit Tigers first baseman Miguel Cabrera was arrested for DUI on Wednesday on Florida’s Treasure Coast, my old stomping grounds.
A St. Lucie County sheriff saw Cabrera’s Land Rover on the side of the road with the engine smoking. As a visibly drunk Cabrera was talking to the police he grabbed a bottle of James Buchanan’s scotch and just kept on drinking. Naturally, he also dropped the oft-repeated celeb line of “Do you know who I am?” Yeah, you’re the dude that’s about to be booked for DUI.
Side note: Will Greenlee, the reporter who broke this story, was such a fun co-worker during my time at Scripps. He used to call me a cracker-ass cracker. Long story, just laugh.

It's Art
British graffiti artist Banksy has apparently arrived in Los Angeles. Banksy’s documentary, "Exit Through the Gift Shop," is up for best documentary at the Feb. 27 Academy Awards and so naturally the stealth artist is putting his mark all over the city in what appears to be his way of garnering buzz for among voters. Everyone has their shtick, right? Banksy spray paints billboards, Melissa Leo uses her Cougar Life profile pictures to get votes.

Here is my favorite Banksy piece. It is on the Israeli West Bank barrier.

BarbaWire, Feb. 16

Busted Borders
Mega bookstore chain Borders filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy protection on Wednesday. It plans to close 40% of its 488 superstores as the company reorganizes. This USA Today story ponders what went wrong with Borders. I suppose some readers are looking for a more sophisticated answer than the reality that most people go to Borders to flip through magazines and use the bathroom without having to ask for a key. Borders was my go-to pit stop on Michigan Ave., before that store closed earlier this year. (P.S. British retailer Top Shop is opening up there. Apparently that is huge news.) More on Borders.
Maybe this could lead to the resurgence of independent bookstores or, gasp!, libraries? For my mom’s sake, I also hope it leads to a sequel to "You’ve Got Mail." She loves that effing movie.

She Knows It When She Sees It
Connie O’Brien, a Republican congresswoman in the Kansas legislature, issued an apology on Wednesday for asserting that she could spot an undocumented student because of her olive complexion. Last week, O’Brien was offering up testimony during a hearing to discuss repealing the state’s policy of extending in-state tuition to students that are in the country illegally. O’Brien told a tale about taking her son to the financial aid department at a community college. He was not eligible for any aid. Then she talks about some girl without identification trying to claim her scholarship money. Since the girl didn’t have identification (which was very dumb of the girl, for sure) and had olive skin, O’Brien knew – SHE KNEW! – the girl was not a citizen. More.
Here is the audio of O’Brien’s testimony.
Remember Renae from yesterday? I asked her to clarify the finer points of this issue. Students without documentation are not eligible for government financial aid. They are, however, eligible for some private scholarships. The congresswoman said that the girl was trying to access her scholarship money – not her Pell grant, not her Stafford loan, so her son was just whining.

Freshmen Are Staying Sober
Speaking of college, a recent survey of 500,000 college freshman by an alcohol-prevention group says that binge drinking is down on campuses. The group, Outside the Classroom, claims that the students are drinking less because there are more dry late-night events, activities that this group helps facilitate. Hmm, aren’t we patting ourselves on the back, Outside the Classroom?
These dry late-night events include concerts, foam parties, movie nights and dances. While I am not promoting binge drinking, I pre-gamed like a mad man before all those events in college. I used those sorts of events to sober up.
But if this is true college kids, you are kind of missing the point of college. (Just don’t get so drunk you die, ok?) More.

Pujols' Self-Imposed Deadline Expires
Albert Pujols is like the best baseball player ever but is paid like a mere commoner at $16 million a year. This is his last year on his contract and he and his people gave the St. Louis Cardinals a Feb. 16 deadline to come up with a deal. Today is Feb. 16 and Pujols didn’t get a new contract.
To Pujols, the date of the deadline was not completely arbitrary; spring training is starting and he doesn’t want to distract that (cough, cough, Melo.). Pujols wants the Cardinals to pay $30 million a year for a decade. I turned to my sporty friends who said that essentially Pujols deserves more money than he is getting, but at 31 years old, a decade contract is stupid. Currently, the highest paid baseball player is Alex Rodriguez, who has a 10-year, $275 million contract with the New York Yankees. Pujols wants to snatch that top spot. More.

Fake Rahm, You Is In Danger!

I’ve mentioned how much I love fake Twitter account for Chicago mayoral front runner Rahm Emanuel. Now Emanuel wants to know who is behind the account. He is offering to donate between $2,500 to $5,000 to the imposter’s favorite charity if he or she steps forward. Emanuel says he finds the tweets amusing, but I would be calling Henry Hill for tips on living under the radar. Rahm looks like the kind of guy that would shake your hand and give you a bro hug right before he snaps your neck in four places and dumps your body in Lake Michigan. More.

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems?
Couple spends months wondering if Biggie was right and then finally decides to take $1 million lottery prize after all. More
Side note: “5 double O. Here's my phone number your man ain't gotta to know" is one of my favorite rap lyrics of all time. I miss the 90s.

BarbaWire, Feb. 15

Computer Takeover

This is how it starts! Today the computer wins on Jeopardy! Tomorrow he moves on to Wheel of Fortune, then Let’s Make a Deal, American Idol, Survivor, Biggest Loser, RuPaul’s Drag Race – then when he has enough money he launches a political action committee and becomes president and ruler of the free world. Then the birthers re-emerge and demand to see his certificate of authenticity, because they are convinced he was manufactured in China. More.

CBS Reporter Assaulted in Egypt
During the craze of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak’s resignation, CBS reporter Lara Logan was separated from her crew and was brutally attacked and sexually assaulted. A group of women and soldiers rescued her, she got the hell out of there and is recovering in a hospital in the U.S. As Gawker pointed out, it is odd that this happened on Friday and is just surfacing now.

READ THIS

If you read one story today, please read this one. Shawna Forde, a woman member of the Minutemen, was convicted Monday of the 2009 murder of a father and daughter in Arizona. She and two of her fellow Minutemen, the anti-immigration group, decided to raid a home they suspected of housing a major drug operation. They didn’t find any, but still killed the father, shot the mother and despite the nine-year-old’s pleas, shot her in the head. More.

And She Loves Long Walks on the Beach

A list of five facts about new Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue covergirl Irina Shayk. I am guessing most men already know everything they need to know based on the cover. More.

That Egg Is Cracked
You know that ridiculous egg that Lady Gaga arrived to the Grammys in? She claims – and I suspect she fibs – she spent 72 hours "incubating" in that thing.

Yeah, Gags, we get it. You’re an artiste. But what if we turn that “vessel” into a time capsule and see how you are doing in a few years? We will pump oxygen and food down there for you, I just don’t want to see or hear about you for awhile. More.

Inspiration
My friend Renae Bruning is quoted in this story in the Denver Post about her work with students. I can still see Renae in 1999 sitting in the north lobby of George Washington High School waiting to go to the College Summit at the University of Colorado, Boulder. We didn’t know each other then, but that program changed our lives. Because of that program, we were both eligible for scholarships from the Daniels Fund. We were both awarded scholarships and in the fall of 2000 we both returned to Boulder as students. Renae has one of those fantastic stories of someone seeing the spark inside her and pushing her to succeed. Today she has a master’s degree in education and has dedicated her life to helping students find their way. Good job, pop tart.

BarbaWire, Feb. 14

Siiiiimba Blanca
This weekend four white lions made their public debut at Ouwehands Zoo in The Netherlands. The kittens – they are all under a year old – were transferred from a South African reserve and have been quarantined for several weeks. The Dutch zoo specializes in caring for endgangered species. The white lions don’t do well in nature because they can’t camouflage themselves, apparently. I want one.

I think they would get along just fine with Riley, my roommates’ yellow lab, right?

Putting on a Price Tag

Radiohead announed Monday that it will release a new album this Saturday. However, unlike its pay what you want commie business with its 2007 release of "In Rainbows," this one is $9 for MP3s and $14 for WAVs. Still, it will likely be well worth my money. More

I was never a huge fan of Radiohead – I even lived with a major fan that had a massive poster of the British band and I would roll my eyes at it every time I walked by it. Then, I heard this and it all changed.

Strange Days in the Middle East
Hosni Mubarak, the Egyptian president that resigned his post on Friday, is reportedly in a coma at his home near the Red Sea. Mubarak traveled to the region on Thursday night. I read earlier in the day that he was in a coma in Germany, but apparently he is still in Egypt. The fallen leader is 82. They also claim that he even fainted twice during his final speech. More

And as expected, the success in Egypt has ignited protests in other parts of the Middle East.

Say What?
Serene Branson, a CBS Los Angeles reporter, was giving a report on the Grammy Awards outside the Staples Center on Sunday when her mouth and her brain got into a massive fight. There was a lot of speculation that Branson was suffering a stroke mid broadcast. However, the station said she was examined and released and felt fine this morning. If she is in fact fine, then I can make a joke. Maybe she was just overwhelmed by Justin Bieber’s loss? She looks like she has the Bieber Fever.

Speaking of the Grammys. My quick take from memory: Jennifer Hudson looked great; Christina Aguilera still oversings; That gospel lady is tall; Florence has soul, but is socially awkward; I am grateful to have missed Lady Gaga perform; Lady Gaga thanked Whitney Houston while looking like Madonna; Madonna kicked kittens; Bruno Mars thinks he is Jackie Wilson; Justin Bieber surprised me with his guitar skills; Jayden Smith has no talent (my dad concurs); Mumford & Sons and Avett Brothers were great, but Bob Dylan sounded awful; RiRi, ohhhh RiRi (Brooklyn is right!); Eminem refuses to smile; Katy Perry looks like a blow-up doll; Cee Lo copied Elton, but I was not offended by it; Cee Lo brought Gwyneth Paltrow to perform with him and I was offended by it; Lady Antebellum won for a song about booty calls; John Mayer stole Johnny Depp’s look; Norah Jones almost did “Jolene” justice, almost; Mick Jagger has lots of swagger still; and Arcade Fire, well, are awesome.
You can also read my real time take on it from twitter. Twitter.com/barbawire

flattery?

just sayin.

WeekendWire

Change in Cairo

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak stepped down on Friday after mounting pressure from both thousands of protesters and the White House. On Thursday he tried compromising by transferring his presidential authority to his vice president, but retaining his title. That didn't go over well. So, he had a change of heart, got the hell out of town and went to his place near the Red Sea (He is probably in Florida.). His Vice President Omar Suleiman announced the resignation.

I listened to English Al Jazeera online for about an hour today and it was breathtaking to hear the sheer jubilance of the Egyptians. Look! The photo above is from this set.

The fall of Mubarak could potentially have a trickle effect across the Middle East.

I found this essay particularly noteworthy.

And while I find Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to be off his rocker, I like to know what he is thinking.

Here Is Your Tie I Borrowed (in 2004)

If this was one of those gossip magazines, this story would be in the “Celebs: Just like us!” section. They borrow clothes and wait seven years to give them back!

Palin Impersonators > Palin
While Sarah Palin was off doing mama grizzly stuff, this Wasilla tundra flower decided to drop in at Conservative Political Action Conference. I think I like this one better.

She puns! But she needs to work on that accent. Take notes from the expert, lady.

Deadly Booty
Look, I know it is imperative to be able to make it clap, but it is not worth losing your life over! More.

I understand the need to cut corners in this economy, but I will never comprehend budget plastic surgery. My cousin’s ex-girlfriend (and mother of his child!) went to Oklahoma because boob jobs are cheaper there. Yeah. She was doing it to advance her career. On the pole. Not joking. Not at all.

Ya Think?

On Friday Groupon finally figured out how bad their Super Bowl ads were and pulled them. Some people don’t like it when you make light of dire situations to drum up business. As my roommate aptly said, “Not only are they offensive, but they are also unfunny.”

The ads were supposed to be dual purposed – both promoting Groupon and to raise awareness for the causes it trivialized, however that second part never gelled and the company just ended up looking, well, like jackasses.

Dizamn
Ingmar Guandique was sentenced to 60 years in prison for the 2001 murder of Chandra Levy, a FBI intern. Guandique continues to say he is innocent. Levy’s mother had some choice words for the convicted killer. While I doubt this does much to heal the pain she is feeling, I am guessing this felt damn good. Sad.

BarbaWire, Feb. 10

Diet Stroke?
A new study out of the University of Miami claims that diet soda boosts the risk of suffering a stroke. The study is preliminary, so they are not quite sure why. Perhaps it is the aspartame, phosporic acid and, potassium benzoate? I mean, I don’t know a thing about any of those ingredients but I am guessing they can’t be good. More.
Well, hell, what am I supposed to drink then? I conserve my calories for Maker’s Mark and I am not about to start drinking water. I saw this and it nearly gave me a heart attack!

Mubarak Needs a Clue
It was widely reported Thursday afternoon that Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak would announce his resignation. He didn’t. Instead, he said he was not going anywhere until the September elections, but delegated much of his responsibility to his Vice President Omar Suleiman. He thought this was a good compromise. It wasn’t. Thousands of people flooded Tahrir Square to hear his resignation and now they are pissed. The protests have been going strong for 17 days and are expected to resume on Friday. More.
President Obama states the obvious.

Cavalosers
By now, you should know that the Cleveland Cavaliers lost their mojo when they lost their star LeBron James. The team has lost 26 consecutive games, a record for the NBA. If they lose on Friday night when they play the LA Clippers on Friday they would set a record for the longest losing streak in the history of pro sports in the U.S. More.
Tough break, guys. But if you are gonna be losers, do it with some flair. Watch the end of the Bad News Bears. (at 1:30ish)

This and That
Ok, I need to hurry up and get to Frontier, the new West Town bar that opened tonight. So....

This isn’t news, but it is funny. I am not a huge fan of Steve Harvey, but he cracks me up when removes the stoner’s hand from his oh-so-delicate polyblend suit. Ha.

Don’t threaten me with a good time! Dumb.

BarbaWire, Feb. 9

Asteroid, Please Miss Us
So, now you are telling me that if we live long enough to get way too drunk on New Year’s Eve next year, an asteroid might come smash into us in 2036? Santo Dios. Ok, not really, but this still is going to keep me up tonight. More.

Here Is Your Second Chance (Don't Mess It Up)
Despite flubbing the National Anthem, Christina Aguilera is set to perform as part of tribute to Aretha Franklin this Sunday at the Grammys. Man, America might forgive you, Christina, for jumbling the words to the “Star-Spangled Banner,” but something about Aretha tells me she wouldn’t play that. More.
Do us all a favor, Xtina, and take the sharpie you typically reserve for your eyebrows and write the following on your hand “R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.” Thanks.

Gabby Wants Toast
Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords’ condition has improved so much so that she asked for toast for breakfast this morning. The doctors have said Giffords (D-Ariz.) has made tremendous strides in her recovery since being shot in the head in early January. She is now at a rehab center in Houston and is expected to be onsite when her husband boards the last space shuttle mission in April. More.
Although I am impressed by her strides, I am disappointed in her breakfast options. Toast? Really? I would have at least ordered some French toast. Oh! Maybe some chocolate waffles with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. That always sounds so good on the menu and I ordered it once – insisted, even – at a diner in Las Vegas when I was about 11. It was a bit too rich for me and I had maybe two bites. I may or may not have been smacked. It’s hard to recall. (I’m pretty sure I at least got an ear tug.)

RIP, Tapes
The cassette tape player in your car is dead. That’s not exactly news, but this story still made me incredibly wistful for the days when I had my first car, a 1990 Mazda Protégé. I had a tape player and my soundtrack that summer was the “Can’t Hardly Wait” album. I think. Oh, and DMX’s “It's Dark and Hell Is Hot.” It was a simpler time. More.

Craigslist's Congressman
Today Gawker.com posted a story about Congressman Christopher Lee (R-New York) sending a shirtless picture of himself to a woman he contacted from Craigslist’s “women seeking men” section. One problem: Lee is married. He lied about his age, his job and his marital status. The woman ran a simple Google search and realized the true identity of her gentleman caller and naturally contacted Gawker. Within three hours of the snarky site posting its story, the Congressman resigned. Did he mess up? Sure, but a resignation is a bit precipitous, unless there is a lot more going on behind the scenes. He didn’t get a page all liquored up and try to take advantage of him. He didn’t tap his foot under an airport bathroom stall. To be bipartisan, he certainly didn’t get caught up in a bridge accident that left a woman dead. Or even hook up with an intern in the Oval Office. Dude should have just chilled. More.

BarbaWire, Feb. 8

ObaMarlboro No More
First Lady Michelle Obama has said that the president has kicked the butts. More.
Except when he drinks, then he puffs like a chimney. JK, JK... good job, B.O.!

Packing Heat
An Alabama adult store owner is taking an interesting take on the “make love, not war” anthem this Valentine’s Day. Owner Sherri Williams is offering an saucy exchange: guns for “toys.” Her goal is to get 300 guns off the streets (and get all kinds of freaks in the sheets!) Hmm. I wonder if the trades are in proportion to the type of gun traded? What do you get if you trade in a 9mm versus a shotgun? I could keep this going, but frankly my parents read this and I am already starting to blush. Sucia.

Patriot Act Extension Stalls
An extension of certain provisions of the Patriot Act failed in the House today. The bill would have extended provisions such as the FBI’s ability to use roving wire taps. The bill is expected to be re-introduced later in the spring, but its failure shows the tea party’s rising power. Several freshman members of Congress didn’t support the bill’s extension because of the Act’s encroachment on civil liberties. Okay.

"Toyota" Not Japanese For "Ahhh!!"
Remember when everyone thought their Prius had turned all Christine on them? Turns out their car was not possessed. It was just their fat feet. More.

Over It
Now Carmelo Anthony is in talks with the Los Angeles Lakers. I am over it. I just want to stop hearing about it. But you should read about it here.

Olbermann's Strange Move
Keith Olbermann has landed a gig at Current TV. And the whole world that has been waiting with baited breath to see what Olby is up to just let out a collective “uhh?” This could be good for him – as one story I read pointed out that MSNBC wasn’t exactly booming when he arrived. But Current TV, Al Gore’s station, doesn’t really have much cachet. Although it does show This American Life. Can’t be all bad when you have Ira Glass on your side. I mean Rachel Maddow basically got her look from Glass, so Olbermann should feel so at home. More.

BarbaWire, Feb. 7

The Force!
The Super Bowl is over and although the game was just fine, everything else was kind of a mess, right? Christina Aguilera messed up the National Anthem. She has apologized. I only accept her apology if she agrees to stop looking like the scary lady from Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
The commercials were actually pretty good, though. I did like the Eminem one, but the best was definitely “The Force.” While I was never much of a Star Wars kid, I thought it was excellent. Check them all out here.

Bless Me, Steve Jobs, for I Have Sinned
The Roman Catholic Church has sanctioned an app that is supposed to help its followers get back to confession. When I first read this, I immediately thought it meant you could confess via app and got a little flushed. I immediately thought about Eliot Spitzer’s quote, “Never talk when you can nod, and never nod when you can wink, and never write an e-mail because it's death.”
Anyway, you can’t actually confess through the app, but it is supposed to guide sinners through sacrament. More.
True story! I’ve been to confession twice, but never in a confession booth. My first confession was off to the corner in the front of the church because my mom was late taking me. Second time was for my confirmation and the priest set up shop in one of the alters. Truthfully, I was always more worried about remembering the words to the Act of Contrition than actually confessing.

U Is Worng
Some genius defaced Harry Caray’s statue in front of Wrigley Field. Not cool, dude. What else is not cool is bad spelling. What were you trying to say, buddy? Need help finding your voice?
This reminds me of high school when the East High kids spray painted “East Angles” on our doors. Too bad they were the “Angels.” More.

Oh, I Wish You Would
The people of Chicago are growing increasing disgruntled with this snow. You can see it in our faces. We are all just side eye away from brawling. This guy cut me off on the very narrow sidewalk today and I envisioned pushing him into the snow and stealing his North Face backpack just for fun.
I really just need to either incite a massive snowball fight or something. That’s why this man is my hero.

Ramparts, Christina. Ramparts.

Right before Christina Aguilera began singing the National Anthem, my friends and I were discussing that there is something off about her face. I've thought this for awhile and have not been able to pinpoint exactly what is off, but there is something.

Seconds later, we -- along with the whole bar -- had a collective "ughhh??" Much like her face, we knew there was something off about her "Star-Spangled Banner," but couldn't pinpoint it! "The ramparts we watch'd," Christina!