BarbaWire, Feb. 7

The Force!
The Super Bowl is over and although the game was just fine, everything else was kind of a mess, right? Christina Aguilera messed up the National Anthem. She has apologized. I only accept her apology if she agrees to stop looking like the scary lady from Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
The commercials were actually pretty good, though. I did like the Eminem one, but the best was definitely “The Force.” While I was never much of a Star Wars kid, I thought it was excellent. Check them all out here.

Bless Me, Steve Jobs, for I Have Sinned
The Roman Catholic Church has sanctioned an app that is supposed to help its followers get back to confession. When I first read this, I immediately thought it meant you could confess via app and got a little flushed. I immediately thought about Eliot Spitzer’s quote, “Never talk when you can nod, and never nod when you can wink, and never write an e-mail because it's death.”
Anyway, you can’t actually confess through the app, but it is supposed to guide sinners through sacrament. More.
True story! I’ve been to confession twice, but never in a confession booth. My first confession was off to the corner in the front of the church because my mom was late taking me. Second time was for my confirmation and the priest set up shop in one of the alters. Truthfully, I was always more worried about remembering the words to the Act of Contrition than actually confessing.

U Is Worng
Some genius defaced Harry Caray’s statue in front of Wrigley Field. Not cool, dude. What else is not cool is bad spelling. What were you trying to say, buddy? Need help finding your voice?
This reminds me of high school when the East High kids spray painted “East Angles” on our doors. Too bad they were the “Angels.” More.

Oh, I Wish You Would
The people of Chicago are growing increasing disgruntled with this snow. You can see it in our faces. We are all just side eye away from brawling. This guy cut me off on the very narrow sidewalk today and I envisioned pushing him into the snow and stealing his North Face backpack just for fun.
I really just need to either incite a massive snowball fight or something. That’s why this man is my hero.