BarbaWire, April 20

Song of the Day: "Mary Jane" by Rick James


"Birther" Bill Goes Too Far

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer vetoed the “Birther” bill on Monday, saying it “goes too far.” As you remember, Arizona lawmakers passed a bill last week that would require presidential candidates to provide a full-form birth certificate or a certificate of live birth accompanied by a baptism record or a circumcision certificate or some other kind of document. I knew Brewer would eventually do something that doesn’t endanger the muscles in my eyes from frequent and vigorous rolling. It was actually a two-fer, too! She vetoed the bill that would have allowed guns on school campuses because it was poorly written. More.

Boehner is Party Pooper
Speaker of the House John Boehner has a problem with tequila shots and sombreros, because he has decided to break a sorta old, bipartisan tradition of the Speaker hosting a Cinco De Mayo party and has told the Hispanic Caucus that it should host it. Doesn’t he know that Cinco De Mayo is like a major American drinkin’ holiday? Apparently he hates America. More.
Cinco De Mayo, of course, is a minor Mexican holiday that celebrates the Mexican victory over the French, but we all know Americans have adopted it as an excuse to set up shop at a patio (finally!) and just get inappropriately drunk. I am most happy when Cinco De Mayo and the Kentucky Derby coincide. Mint Juleps segue perfectly into tequila shots.
Still, I have to wonder how much of this relates to the politics of immigration reform. Boehner had no problem hosting a St. Patty’s party. More. #justsayin


Tastes Nasty Now
Chain restaurants keep getting little kids trashed. It has now spread to Chicago, where a four-year-old was served a mudslide instead of a milkshake at Chili’s. She is so darn cute when she says, “It tastes nasty.” Silly child. More.
Funny story time: I have this memory of my dad drinking what looked like iced tea. I asked him for a drink of his tea. I was probably five or six. It wasn’t tea, it was beer and it, too, "tastes nasty.” If my experience teaches us anything, that kid is going to love her some mudslides in a dozen or so years.


America's Credit Score
There is a one-in-three chance that America’s credit rating is going to be downgraded in the next few years. That’s not good; that’s the equivalent of having bad credit. It makes it hard to borrow money and it also makes it more expensive. Does this mean we are going to have to move back in with our mama and get a prepaid cell phone? More.


Galaxy V. iPhone
Apple is suing Samsung because they say Samsung’s Galaxy phone and tablet is a rip-off of the iPhone and the iPad. If Apple is so motivated to sue, I wonder if this means that the Galaxy is just as good as the iPhone. I have some friends that would argue that it is probably better. So, Mr. Smug Apple announcer, I guess you can change your little ditty to, “If you don’t have an iPhone, you don’t have an iPhone but you might have a Galaxy and that is pretty much the same thing.” More.


$%$%!#%^$

Cursing dulls pain, a new study has found. The guy at the pizza place where I had lunch today didn’t need to read this story to know this. He heard a rant that would have made Betty White blush after I bit my tongue. More.
Cursing is really useful in so many scenarios. In addition to dulling pain it also really helps you fix stuff. Or at least that’s what the tirades my dad utters when he is messing with something would lead you to believe. (I am picking on him today because he brought up my wire slacking last night.)

Ick. Nast.
I don’t even want to know. More.


Let Me Talk
President Obama gets sassy with a reporter from Texas. As a reporter, I likely would have made some wonderfully snide remark in response, but I can see Obama’s point – let your source talk! (All my sources just laughed because I think interrupt too much) More.


Awwwwwwwwwww. Cute.